Yesterday I attended my last class as an undergraduate student...
My time at Shawnee has seemingly vanished before it even started. I was running on the flood wall yesterday and I could distinctively recollect the feelings, thoughts and moments from my freshman year of cross country. One moment in particular the team was doing a workout in the rain which provided for a muddy flood wall. We were all wearing our new red long-sleeve shirts with a big "S" on the front - still one of my favorite shirts. During the start of our second 800 meter interval I was in the front and slipped. Joe Jinks was behind me and about fell over top of me, adding in a brief set of profanity (just like you could imagine Joe Jinks saying, if you know Joe). I am not sure why I remember certain moments like that. Another moment on that same flood wall, we were finishing an 8 mile run and Blake Jones looked at his watch to inform us all we just ran 5:55 for our last mile. Looking back, that could be the reason we all burned out at the conference meet. But we were loving living in the moment that year.
A lot has to do with memories. For every present there is a past. For every future there has to be a present. Too many times I let my past dictate my present or my future thoughts - I often point to what I have done or what I will do. But none of that really matters. All we really have is what we have now. How are we suppose to make new memories by constantly recollecting thoughts about old memories? Paradox...
With running, a lot can be said about a "lifetime base" of mileage. That is true, having that experience or build-up of strength in beneficial. Our achievements can lead to confidence for the future and lessons learned can provide for a more flawless type of running.
Often though, our ego's take over... we start to stray away from our true identity... we put on a face that is not really ours... and end up becoming shattered in the process.
Moving forward from here, I hope to remain who I am. Continue to identify myself and search deeper. Wherever I may go, live or work... wherever I may run, I hope to do this.